We’re packing up and getting ready to leave for a wedding which I’ll probably be talking about later in the week. In the meantime my mother and I were talking as we were making preparations and she brought up some interesting things that I had wondered about all my life, well not all my life because I’m not dead yet.
She was reminiscing about when my dad and her got married which is of course a long time ago and so it is not possible to talk about this without some kind of curmudgeonly after attributes popping out.
I’m still not sure what a pot holder is. In my mind it’s either the pads that you lay hot pots on the kitchen counter, or it is the gloves that you used to take hot stuff out of the oven. What I am sure of Is how appreciative my mother and father were after seeing them as a bridal gift. They were a homemade set a pot holders. Now whether they were crocheted, knit, or made like a blanket or quilt I have no idea.
Mom said that they were made by one of her aunts and that she can still remember the ooh’s and aaah’s of attendees at the gift opening at what a wonderful thing these potholders were. She also remarked that back then silverware was kind of a community gift. One person did not just buy a silverware set for a wedding couple. You might’ve had a grandma or grandpa who gave a whole service to the bride and groom, but in our area of the country someone would give a couple of forks, somebody else a couple of knives, and so on until you got at least a part of the silverware set. I guess the trick was trying to figure out how to communicate the pattern and the style to everybody who would bring one or two forks or a fork and a knife etc. There were no bridal registries at least that my mother can remember but her attitude was that whatever was received was deeply appreciated and everything was used. Everything was put to use and as it was used the memory of the person who contributed the gift was brought to the fore and discussed.
My issue, if there is one, is that h symbolism of the gift is diapering. The gifts given back in the day were utilitarian. They were meant for use in a work a day worlds yet there was a spiritual dimension to them too. As you worked your remembered the folks that thought of you and cared. Now we do things through a bridal registry and it is still utilitarian but somehow the connection seems lost – at least to me.
Of course the whole wedding is about gifting. Christ gives gifts and is the gifts. In the wedding we are all gifted to one another as the Bride and Groom are gifted to one another. This might be lost today when we have bridal registries and wedding planners but cannot imagine going back to getting a silver service one piece at a time.